A Birth Mother’s Story – Tasha
My name is Tasha and I would like to share my story with you.
Five years ago I fell into some pretty hard times. I was too ashamed to ask my family for help so I was living on the streets. At the time I had a 2-year-old son that was staying at my moms house. I started seeing this guy that was also living on the streets, we got really intimate and after a month or so I found out I was pregnant. When I told him I was pregnant, he left me and moved out of state.
I was devastated I didn’t know what I was going to do. I couldn’t afford a baby and couldn’t give her what she needed. I also knew that I couldn’t have an abortion, because that’s not the type of person that I am. I knew I had a hard decision to make. I was scared to tell my family. I thought that they would be ashamed of me and think that I was stupid and everything like that. I decided to tell them anyway and when I did they were very proud of me for telling them and they all said that they would support my decision no matter what I did. My friends kept telling me that I could do it and take care of another baby and that they would help. I thought what it would be like with another baby and no daddy around. I would cry myself to sleep at night trying to figure out what I should do.
Finally after a couple months I decided that I would give the baby up for adoption. Then she could have the care and things that she needed. I had my mom go with me because I was scared to go by myself. I felt kind of like I was in a daze at that I would wake up and none of this would be happening. My mom had heard of an agency through her boss and so she took me there. We met with a very nice counselor who talked to us about the process. I was still in a daze and wondering if this was the right thing to do.
The counselor helped me. She told us that it could be an open adoption and that it would be up to me if I wanted to have contact after the baby was born and the adoption was final. She also told us that I would be able to look through profiles and pick the family that I thought would be best for my child. After talking to her I felt that it was the right thing to do for me and the baby and that it would be good. .
The counselor gave us a couple profiles to look at to see if we liked those families. It took me a couple days to actually look through them and see if I liked any of them. I still felt kind of dazed and thought it was a dream. When I finally did look through the profiles I liked the first one I looked at. They seemed like a very nice couple they had been married for a few years and were unable to have children and they both had good jobs and seemed very caring.
I told the counselor about the family I chose and she arranged for me to meet the couple. I took my mom with me to meet the family to see what she thought about them. We met and we talked about every thing that would happen before and after the birth and to make the adoption final. I got to know the couple very well. They went with me to every doctor’s appointment and even went out to dinner with my mom, my son and me. Which I thought was very nice because not only did they care about me and every thing I was going through, but they also cared about the rest off my family and wanted to get to know them.
When the time came to have my daughter they were in the room with me and they watched the whole thing. After the delivery they stayed in the room with me and even took me home when I was released. They made sure that I was okay. After the birth the counselor came up to see me and make sure I was still okay with my decision. After the birth we went to court separately and I placed my daughter with them.
It has been 5 years since the birth of my daughter and I still talk to the adoptive parents a lot and even get pictures of my daughter. I still have a wonderful relationship with the adoptive parents and my daughter. My life has changed a lot since then too. I know have a nice house with my fiancee and I have had another daughter since then that lives with me, and my son is back at home with me too. I’m not ashamed of my decision and to this day I still think it was the best thing I could have ever done.